FILIPINO INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP: EUPHEMISM

     Communication plays a vital role to people and the society. It is the act of exchanging thoughts, messages and other sort of information which is channeled and imparted by a sender to a receiver via some medium. One may consider first before relaying the message to friends, neighbors and family the impression it would give as the sender exchange thoughts, particularly in emotional situation or complicated issues. As communication is an act to exchange thoughts, the paper is interested to inquire into the role of euphemism of first considering the impact it would brought to the conversation. Euphemism is defined as a substitution of an expression that may offend or something unpleasant towards the receiver of such messages, thoughts and other sorts of information.

     The paper is entitled, Filipino Interpersonal Relationship: Euphemism, would like to attempt to examine the idea that Pinoy’s fond of avoiding in giving direct criticism towards the Sakop. As a result could it be automatically say that euphemism inks in Pinoy’s blood and culture? In a daily conversation Filipino’s would hear words such as; siguro nga (maybe), sisikapin ko (I will try), tingnan natin (we’ll see) Pipilitin ko (I will make an effort) or sometimes receive a reply such as; PAL sa, ko karon (dependent to parents), Hubagang ate, uy (referring to women’s body). These are just some of the words that enter daily conversation that it has been very common or rampant, already apparent to close observer of Philippine life and culture.

To give further clarification to the attempt, it would consider some points which will set as guide and parameters of its inquiry: (1) Filipino’s often resort to euphemism, healthy for an individual or as member of the sakop; (2) the negative impact that it would brought to individual and its receiver; (3) whether euphemism guarantees harmony with the community or; (4) it is Filipinos way of building healthy interpersonal relationship. Hoping that it will disclose what the paper would like to present. As a background or find out any account relevant to the paper it had consider Leonardo Mecardos’ books particularly; Filipino Social Being and Sakop and the Individual.As it is deemed relevant guide to come up a clear presentation of the paper, for Mercado’s anthropological method of philosophizing provides information of uncovering mental framework which already exist to culture which explains Filipino’s peculiarities.  In addition it will also use Filipino proverbs (Salawikain) and some pinoy jokes (Juan Pusong) to ostensibly explain and support of its claim.                      

Filipino in Harmony: Sakop

To further understand of how euphemism would elicit in the exchange of thoughts and the possible cause of it, the following discussion is drawn from Mercado’s anthropological method. Filipino is person oriented, thinking the self as belonging to, and identifies himself with a group (sakop). Considers the success and welfare of the sakop as his own fulfillment, which such kind of thinking is different from some Western culture, where one’s dignity and freedom is one’s personal agenda and that community values are consider apart. On the other hand, Filipino always identifies the self in the sakop and it is a must for a pinoy the sense of belongingness. Mercado identify two characteristics of sakop: Interpersonal and Hierarchic. Interpersonalism can be seen from the nuclear or barkada to a bigger sakop such as political party where personal issues does not matter as long as building strong allegiance to the head is the main concern. To guarantee strong bond and allegiance participation in ritual kinship (compradizco) is necessary. Sakop as hierarchic means the degree of the disparity is prevalent towards Filipino’s Pakikibagay (in-consonance-with) and Pakikiisa (Being-one-with) towards the member of the sakop. As age and experience must be regarded factor to be taken in the process of exchanging opinions to a certain subject matter. 

Sakop, can be a person’s relative, peers, classmates, townmates, officemates, etc. the word Kapatiran (sharing the same intestines/brotherhood) and Kadugo (sharing of the same blood or coming from the same clan) could be consider as the central way for sakop-making of Filipino. Kapatiran— means that the participation of a Filipino to a ritual kinship such as; baptism, marriages and other investitures. Aside from ritual kinship, living in the same barrio could also develop the sense of Kapatiran. Kadugo is always understood as individual coming from a similar blood line or clan. In similar to some Oriental families (particularly, Asian) Filipino consider Kadugo as priority and one’s thought should be highly regarded compared to barkada and some not affiliated by blood.         

To understand Mercado’s point of Filipino's sakop-orientation, the author consider of relating it to a story to contain the idea.

I Am Third

    A popular boy living in a town is admired by many in the community, not because of he is the son of a wealthy and powerful family in the town but because of his motto in life. One day, Juan’s teacher asked every student about their motto in life which everyone is eagerly waits for his turn to share his motto in life. The teacher asked Juan for his motto in life and replied, “I Am Third”. The teacher was puzzled by Juan’s answer and demands for an explanation. Juan replied by saying that ‘I Am Third’ because first God, second Others and I am third.  

Considering that right and wrong is determined by the sakop and that every opinion expressed must conform to sakop’s standard. One must be careful in the process of Pakikiisa and Pakikisama by this pinoy would always resort to address as much as possible in euphemism in order not to cause negative attention from the sakop. For example in a certain company meeting that needs to be agreed by all, pinoy must keep in silence if it is agreed by many, particularly if some the barkada in the company does adhere to the proposals which automatically expected. As long as it is agreed by the sakop, one would immediately conform as pinoy is sensitive towards its sense of belongingness in the sakop.

Proverb and Juan Pusong Lore 

      As festivities and any simple occasion is inveterate in Filipino’s culture. Any gathering be it— a wedding, a funeral, baptism, birthday celebration— may elicit some proverbs and jokes appropriate for the occasion, to entertain themselves while a glass of liquor is shared or while eating among the people in the table.

      Juan Pusong Lore (Jokes)

If one is happen to liken or participate in a tagay (liquor drinking) some jokes may also elicit as a way of entertainment where some would it a way of rotation to share some jokes. 

                   Here is some list of jokes that are euphemistically expressed:

Guwapo

Photographer: Dian a imong litrato boss.
Customer: Di ko ani uy! Bati kayo akong nawong aning litratoha.
Photographer: Bati gud, tan-awa ang imong back view morag si Romy Diaz, ang   side view
Paquito Diaz.
Customer: Unya ang front view?
Photographer: Aw, Kuwarenta Diaz!

Pangit

Eloy: Pre, sa imong banabana, gwapo ba ko?
Andoy: Pangit ka ug nawung, pre.
Eloy: Pagtarong dira, pre ha! Unsay pangit?
Andoy: imng nawung, pangitaon kayo ba!!

Flashlight

Sa usa ka diskortal, nakigsayaw si Kulas ug guwapa, tungod ky gwapa man kayo iyang paris pwerteng gakis ni Kulas.
Daga: unsa may sulod sa imong bulsa, Dong?
Kulas: ahhh…Kanang, flashlight ni Day
Daga: nganung init man?
Kulas: nagsiga mn gud!

       Shy

Pasing: mare, unsa man na imong son-in-law nga pila ka tuig na mang walay                     trabaho?
Claring: unsaon man nga SHY man gud kayo siya!
Pasing: SHY gud nga tabian man kayo na!
Claring: SHY tiglaba, SHY tiglimpyo sa balay, SHY sa magluto.

As it is observed from the jokes above, it does tell that even in the delivery of the jokes it does show the employment of euphemism.

Proverbs Lore  

     Proverbs (Salawikain) are sayings that are steeped in the traditional Filipino culture and wisdom; they are expression cloaked in poetry and are basically euphemistic passages. Filipino’s fond of proverbs which range over a wide variety of subject matter: “(1) Proverbs expressing a general attitude towards life and the laws that govern life; (2) ethical proverbs, recommending virtues and condemning vices; (3) expressing a system of values; (4) expressing general truths and observations about human nature and life; (5) humorous proverbs; (6) miscellaneous proverbs.”

Proverbs (salawikain): 
Ang utang na loob, mapagkaliit man, Utang din kahit mabayaran; sa pakitang loob at tapat na damay, ay walang salaping sukat maitimbang. (A debt of kindness, no matter how small remains a debt, though repaid; in money; for kindness and sincere sympathy no amount of money can ever repay.)

Ang hindi matutulusan, ang buhay at kapalaran.
(One cannot predict the course of life and fate.)

Huwag kang tumawid sa guhit hanggang wala ka sa langit.
(Don’t trust in fortune until you are in heaven.)

Ang masamang sasapitin; talog ng mabuting panalanging.
(The danger that threatens us may be overcome by earnest prayer.)

Walang utang na di pinagbabayaran.
(No debt remains unpaid.)

Ang mapagkanulo sa kanyang kapuwa, sa sariling bitag napapanganyaya.
(He who betrays his fellowmen is caught in his own trap.)

Ang buhay parang gulong, minsan nasa
Ibabaw, minsan nasa ilalim.
(Life is like a wheel; sometimes you’re
on the top, sometimes you are in the bottom.)

Mao ba kaha ni?

Filipino’s euphemism is solely regarded as a way to harmonized with the sakop. For resorting to euphemism in exchange of thoughts disclose a senses of belongingness which is relevant to Filipinos, giving indirect criticism or avoiding unpleasant remarks. To express one’s opinion ensures building a strong bond towards the sakop.

     Though euphemism is prevalent in every corners of the world, Filipino euphemism is unique among its neighbors and to Western culture for it is considered a means to connect with friends, neighbors, Kadugo to the situation where one is facing with the sense of ensuring one’s pakikisama and pakiki-kaibigan. 

Euphemism therefore is one way of accumulating a sakop and euphemistic expression feels one sense of belongingness, it could be said that euphemism does build a health interpersonal relationship with the sakop and people outside of the sakop. It does show that euphemism (1) Filipino’s resort to euphemism, for an individual or as member of the sakop; (2) the negative impact that it would brought to individual and its receiver is set aside; (3) euphemism guarantees harmony with the community and; (4) it is Filipinos way of building healthy interpersonal relationship.